When I told you I couldn’t stop writing bumper stickers, I wasn’t kidding. Here are a few more for you to ponder and appreciate. I hope you’ll even write a few of your own. They are so much fun and great for your brain. “Bumper-Stickering” is also an excellent party activity. Once again, enjoy:
* The sky isn’t falling. It’s just hangin’ real low.
* 74% of 1/3 of the nation use statistics 27% of the time.
* If I ever see a mushroom cloud, the diet’s over.
* Gone wishin’.
* Caution: vehicle loaded with snakes.
* I miss Bush.
* Help cool the Globe: stop pontificating.
* I worship The Devil: Dick Cheney.
* Get into binge thinking.
* I gave The Queen a bear hug.
* I sneak onto golf courses with a push mower.
* Sorry about running into you. Sue my cell phone.
* I only grow marijuana to make rope.
* Just remember: I ALWAYS have the right of way.
* I rescued a dog and it rescued me.
* Who needs a job when you’ve got 12 games to watch in HD?
* I meditate with my dogs.
* Recycle your bills: send ‘em to Geithner.
* I try only to drive in reverse.
* Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just dormant.
* Color me homeless.
* Defeat Global Warming: fight for your right to consume.
* They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to: China does.
* Sit on a swizzle stick and spin, Elroy.
* No, I do not have the munchies. I always eat 14 donuts at a time.
* Anyone need a black eye?
* My Little Leaguer broke your windshield.
* Mediocrity is the study of meteors, right?
* I traded our 5 cars for 5 bitchen mountain bikes.
* Honk if you’re broke.
* Hope springs nocturnal.
* COAL SUCKS.
* I find my best sleep comes at work.
* I bit off more than I can eschew.
* It’s a slippery slope of a world we live in. May I suggest cleats?
* The more crap you own, the better a person you are.
* You know, money isn’t everything. It’s not God. Or, is it? Maybe it is!
* Visualize Earth as it was in the good ol’ days: without humans.
* I mean, like, how many species do we really need anyway?
* I’ve had it up to here with the environment. Can we please change the subject?
* Leave only footprints. Just not on my forehead.
* I no longer eat meat, just mutton.
* I got a steal on this humongous SUV and free gas for week!
* Yeah, there’s a pill for that.
* Follow me down the Yellow Brick road to the Neocon Graveyard.
* I look like hell and can’t sing. Do I have a chance at stardom?
* I do not get high. I mainly get low.
* I drink beer solely for the cans.
* Don’t tell anybody, but I just flung my credit cards into The Grand Canyon.
* Good luck with that, Eunice.
* Now accepting monetary donations.
* Life’s a scam.
* Playing tennis with a golf ball: bad idea.
* If God wanted me to sleep, I would’ve been born asleep.
* Multitaskers make lousy lovers.
* Have you skidded to a stop lately?
* My bank account is on the Endangered Species List.
* Got any spare gold bullion?
* Snorklers have reef madness.
* I’ve got flatulence and I’m not afraid to use it.
* New reality show idea: “Binging With The Stars”
* To hell, with ‘punctuation”;
Grant Brad Gerver is a retired teacher and musician who writes on a variety of topics. Have something to sell? Get a free local classified ad listing at Filibi.com. No extra charge for special features or popular categories. Have more than one item to sell? Get unlimited online classified advertising for one low price. No final value fees.